I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
