I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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