i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
