Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
