If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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