lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
