I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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