I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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