There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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