I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
