i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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