i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
