I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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