i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Less talking, more tequila
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
