Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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