you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The power of my boobs compel you
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
