they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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