How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
