she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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