Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
