My brain says no but my pants say off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He did a backflip because drugs
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize