he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
