So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
