Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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