awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
PANTIES FOUND
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