how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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