On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
