I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
