I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize