He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So vagazzling was a success
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
