Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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