This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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