Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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