Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
from now on my penis is your penis
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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