I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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