i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
