No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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