there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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