I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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