I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
