Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My pussy is not your playground.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
