is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
