this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
