Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wish you could order shots online.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
