remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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