Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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