I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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