Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
