My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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