I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
