fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can't turn off my feet"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize