did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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