think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
