The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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