You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you never un-have a 4some
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
