I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
