ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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